Tax Man Max

"Tax Man Max"

Music by Stephen Flaherty

Lyrics by Lynn Ahrens

Performed by Patrick Quinn

January 7, 1995

Welcome to the new variety, sit and relax

I'm that song and dance phenomenon, Max

Let me sing for you, do my thing for you

Until they give me the axe

Here's the song I'm doing, going to fill you in about tax

Tax is that familiar melody, sinful and true

Hum it if you've earned a dollar or two

Bucks are being spent by the government for whatever they do

Anyone who earns a living gives more than a few

So our schools can be their best, so our roads will have no cracks

Someone fix those train tracks!

I hear you calling Uncle and I'm paying my tax

Oh, these are my girls, hello girls

Hello, Max, nice outfit

There are many different ways we pay what we owe

Ladies if you'll form a lovely tableau

Income, property, sales, utility, candy bars in my show

Licenses for dogs and cats, and that's not all you know

Out of almost every dollar a person can make

City, State and Federal governments take . . .

Take what?

What they think is fair you giving your share

Now and then there's a break

Max is talking taxes

Hey, have I kept you awake!

For the things your town may need

For the things a country lacks

All good things take greenbacks

We hear you calling Uncle and we're paying our tax

People do complain

Say their taxes are high

What am I to get in return?

Look around you friend, Max is showing you why

With your taxes you support

How we live and how we learn

Now here's the good news

Many things are tax deductible

Which means their cost can be subtracted from the amount of income you'll be taxed on. Things like medicine, doctor bills, and supplies for your work.

So keep those receipts

Be kind to your parents at tax time

And remember April 15th, April 15th

What a showman you are Max

Entertaining us with tax

In those snazzy plaid slacks

These slacks are for my business

I tell you I'll deduct them

I hear you calling Uncle, and I'm paying my tax

His tax, our Max

And I'm deducting my sax